Day 56: My High School graduation

10 years ago today, I did what most people thought it was a impossible feat to accomplish due to my neurological disorder that I was suffering in silence from a very early age. When I was attending one of the toughest college preparatory schools in the Washington DC area and was suffering profusely academically and socially, that’s when my psychiatrist finally diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome after numerous tests on my performances throughout my years at PGCPS. He also told my parents not to expect to graduate high school let alone college too. That didn’t deter them to help me to do the impossible no matter what. That’s when they found the harbour school and the school helped me and my family tremendously. If wasn’t for this school, none of this would be possible. My only regret is that I didn’t know what I wanted to do professionally after harbour. But this school helped me finally finished long delayed journey of mine. I’ll always remember that emotional day. #blog #blogger #autismawareness #highschoolgraduation #2012 #naysayers #againstallodds #autism #10yearanniversary #highschool

Day 55: Insecure

In the 90s, Black shows like Martin and In Living Single were the it shows when it came to representation of our culture for young men and women while making the mundane and ordinary and being extremely funny and relatable. In the 2000s, Girlfriends was the only show that filled that void for a while. I was very young to connect with the shows since I was a kid at the time. It wasn’t until Issa Rae’s groundbreaking hbo series called Insecure spoke to my generation of black people. What made Insecure appealing to all of us was that the characters were awkward, flawed but also vulnerable and don’t have the answers to everything. My 20s were a complete mess because I was living in my own head thinking I had the answers to everything and that led to impulsive decisions after another. But later realizing I was wrong and I’m still young and have a lot of maturing to do. The show was able to tap into that accurately. Insecure has paved the way for shows like twenties, run the world and dear white people. Insecure will be talked about like living single and a different world is still about. #blog #blogger #insecurehbo #issarae #blackcommunity #livingsingle #mygeneration #martin #influence #blacksitcoms #blackcomedy #20s

Day 54: Sidney Poitier

As a young non verbal shy black boy of immigrant parents, Sidney forever changed the trajectory of how black people should be seen on the big screen. He portrayed positive male roles not the stereotypical roles that black actors were limited to playing. He made me feel seen by watching mirror life as a strong black man with integrity. He made fell in love with films other than Denzel Washington. He opened the doors for the man himself, Will, Mahershala, Michael, Chadwick and many more. We owe a huge debt to Sidney for breaking the glass ceiling for the black community in Hollywood. Without him, there would be no us. #films #sidneypoitier #blackactors #movies #hollywood #pioneer #icon #hero #inspiration #thespian #blog #influence #classics #immigrants

Day 53: Escaping from reality

Escaping from Reality— Stemming from the trauma of severe school bullying and depression, I tend to socially isolate myself from the real world to forget about all of it by watching TV and live in my own imaginary world. I have done it for a very long time since I was like 8 years old. That’s why I was ignorant and naive about pretty much everything: boundaries, harsh realities, classmates, friends, different generations, what’s reality and what’s fiction. It’s also the main reason I made the most petty, impulsive, unsophisticated decisions in my 20s that alienated my family, friends and former classmates alike. I simply didn’t know any better due to me escaping from reality most of the time. So the lesson to younger autistic people: don’t escape from reality no matter, just face the real world and fight for another day. #blog #blogger #autism #ignorance #escapingfromreality #realworld #isolation #depression #alienation #harshreality #lifeistooshort #hardlessons #impulse #pettiness

Day 52: Michael K. Willams

I was completely stunned and gobsmacked by the unexpected passing of the brilliant character actor Michael K. Williams. Like everyone, I grew up watching his intense and memorizing and convincing performances both on the small screen and big screen including his unforgettable portrayal of the small time drug dealer Omar Little on the groundbreaking gritty crime drama The Wire. The show and the role itself changed the face of television forever because it brought cinematic quality and writing to prime time series that came after them and the sopranos. Thanks MKW for being a pioneer of that movement. Actors are getting more into TV because of what you guys have done. For that, we thank you. #blog #blogger #primetime #tv #television #hbo #blackcommunity #actorslife #blackactors #thewire #omarlittle #drama #thesopranos #michaelkwilliams #antihero #cinematic #pioneer #characteractor #baltimorecity #actors #qualitytelevision

Day 51: Playing it safe

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in my life to this day is not applying to myself as far as my potential is concerned. As a result of having low self esteem and merciful bullying and receiving no encouragement from teachers whatsoever, I decided not to give it all when it comes to my schoolwork and studies much to my parents chagrin. I also didn’t feel like going out with family to functions at times because I am a introvert at best. I never have done any big risks in my life because I fear it will only backfire due to my lack of confidence I have had during my school days. I switched majors from theatre to business because my family wanted me to do something that is stable and safe. Please don’t play it safe, try to do something you are not familiar and be multi disciplinary. I wished there was a voice back then telling me it’s not you, it’s them. Don’t listen to the naysayers. #blog #blogger #autism #autismawareness #playingitsafe #risks #amazingthings #fear #comfortzone #regrets #confidence #lowselfesteem #bullying #haters

Day 50: Turning 30

I have just turned 30 last week. As I start my third decade of my life on earth, I am reflecting back on what I went through during my 20s. During that time, I have mistakenly assumed once you’re technically adult you can no longer do what your parents tell you do. You do things your way from now. I was wrong about that. I have made a lot of impulsive decisions that upset people and family members alike. I had a tendency to snap whenever people tell me you’re this or that. I had a lot of downs than ups in my 20s. Granted, I now realized that I DON’T have the answers to everything in life like I naively thought I did and that’s why I learned the hard away to always listen whenever family tells you do what you said and nothing more and don’t act like their inferior just because you had more education than them. That’s the biggest lesson I learned in my 20s. Hopefully in my 30s, I will be emotionally mature, stress free, relaxed and more humble than I ever was in my 20s. #blog #blogger #20s #newdecade #30s #birthday #turning30 #family #lifelessons #behumble #behumbleandkind #conflict #transparent #autism #autismawareness #autismspeaks

Day 49: Stubborn

I have been told by the family many times that I’m the hard head in the family and just do something that without thinking long term about the aftermath and repercussions. For a long time, I have been very defensive over that label because that meant I was a bad person, a black sheep. Now in retrospect, I understand where they were coming from. Just because you’re technically an adult doesn’t you have the answers to everything. Only the parents does. I’ve been stubborn in my 20s about certain decisions that hurt my family in some degree and vice versa. When a parent tells you to do something, you do it. End of story. But if you’re stubborn about something that you’re extremely passionate about. Then there’s nothing wrong with that. But if it’s something your parents know best: don’t even thinking about doing something otherwise. You’re still young and naive and not emotionally mature about things than you thought you were. Lesson to everyone: it’s okay to be stubborn for something you strongly you believe in but don’t disregard what your parents are telling you what they strongly suggest is necessary. #stubborn #family #hardheaded #blacksheep #parents #impulse #impulsive #alwayslistening #listentoyourparents #worry #answers #decisions #blogger #blog #hardway #hardlessons #hardlessonlearned

Day 48 : Unspoken jealousy

For many years, my siblings were the golden children as far as grades go. I was just average at best when it came to school much to my parents’ headaches. Unconsciously, they kept praising them for laser sharp focus on their studies while I was not 110% in it because I disliked my major (DOR’s behest that I change it just FYI). As a result, while I was happy for their success, I was somewhat envious that they had it easier than I ever due to them not being autistic. I often sometimes have these fantasies that I was never autistic and not being impulsive and somewhat black sheep in the family and that I was treated as the same like my siblings. I never told people this because they would look at me like I’m nuts and ungrateful for everything. Which is not completely true. It’s like an emotional prison at times to be grateful for everything I had gotten. Which I’m truly I am. But it what it is. I’m just telling it like it is. Most people would feel the same feeling as well. It’s not my siblings’ fault that I feel this but still though I used to have those feelings for many years. #ungrateful #humble #blog #blogger #emotionalprison #grateful #blacksheep #autisticadults #autistic #jealousy #resentment #brutallyhonest #envy

Day 47: DMX

Yesterday, many of us were heartbroken about the passing of the gruff voice legendary MC DMX. We all wept including me because his music spoke to a generation of the voiceless. Prior to X, Hip hop was getting soft quite a bit and becoming about radio friendly records. Then X broke the ceiling down and brought the realism, angst, horror core, and grittiness back into the genre and people ate it up from the moment he came out with get at me dog, his debut single. His stories are vivid, heartbreaking, honest and poetic. His rap voice was one of a kind. His stamp on hip hop cannot be overstated. His well publicized struggles with addiction eventually took a toll on him and the people in the music industry did nothing to help him legitimately like health insurance and therapy. That shows how shady the music business can be at times. They only use for financial gain and nothing more. His music will forever be classic because it was authentic and didn’t sugarcoated anything what he was saying. That’s what missing nowadays not just in hip hop but in music period. God bless you Dark Man X.